I don’t believe I’ve told you this yet, but I’ve signed up for a fun little decorating class at Michael’s.
The plan is to learn the fine art of flower-making using things such as fondant, gum paste, buttercream, and royal icing. It’s also a nice little weekly escape to enjoy with girlfriends.
Now, I’m one class in and already I’m feeling bad because I’m a bit rebellious as a student! Particularly, it seems, in this area. Actually I’ve always hated doing my homework and preparatory reading… highschool AND college… but my reasons for rebellion in this class are different. In this class, I find myself trying to squeak through each lesson buying as few of the supplies off the list as possible.
Ya see, I have this thing against Wilton. You know… Wilton… the international cake decorating corporation/devourer of innocent bakers the world over? Basically, in my humble opinion, Wilton is “the man” of the cake decorating world. And it seems I’ve made it my mission to “stick it to em” as much as one human possibly can.
Why? Because they make you believe you actually need a thirty-dollar 10-pack of ball tools in order to make a proper flower petal, or that you can’t live without a plastic pastry bag holder or set of rubber pastry tip covers. Perhaps their most heinous criminal attempt to-date would have to be their $200 set of decorating doo-dads and whatcha-macallits… when, come on, we ALL know about half of this junk going to get used once and then find a permanent home clanking around in the utensil drawer. Or, more likely, on the table in your next garage sale.
Already in the class I’ve seen girls use certain supplies they bought from the supply list and say, “I don’t really like how that flower looks… I probably wont ever make that one.” Well, I bet you’re really glad you bought the button-flower punch, aren’t ya? Thanks, Wilton! For royally ripping me off.
Sadly, though, I’ve also seen girls look at the catalog and say, “Oh I really need to get this.” Inwardly, I cringe… Wilton strikes again. A sucker punch to the kidney… “You’ll never make pretty leaves without us. You need us. We’re monopolizing the cake industry and we say you need this leaf stencil.” Just leave us alone, Wilton.
Me? I say give me a quart-sized ziplock and any old pastry tip, and I’m ready to create! Wilton can keep their ultimate cake leveler, their over-priced food coloring, their ribbon cutter embossing set! I’d rather eat a ball of gum paste than contribute another dime to their evil machine. And trust me, I do NOT want to eat a ball of gum paste. Look at it! It looks like a bright orange butt made out of play-doh. And it stinks to high heaven. (Well, at least the Wilton brand does.)
On that note… anyone know of a brand of Meringue Powder that isn’t you-know-who? I had to buy some today and dog-gonnit if Wilton wasn’t the only kind they had!! Yes, I went ahead and bought it. I had to… I needed it! It’s all a part of their dastardly plan. But I did get the smallest size.
Any other haters out there? Holler at me if you think Wilton should go stick its head in a KitchenAid (speed #10)!